| Talking
With Threes and Fours About the Hurricanes
by Sydney Gurewitz Clemens,
MA
September 10, 2004
The children have been through a lot. They have seen things they
don't understand. They'll need to play out their experiences and
build and destroy buildings and they will suddenly remember and
be afraid.
What are good ways to help them work this issue through in your
group setting?
1. Let them talk. Have times when children (perhaps in a small group
of three or four) can talk about what happened to them in the hurricane.
Record this on a cassette tape recorder, if you have one. Start
by saying "I know the hurricane was a scary time for all of
us. We can talk about what happened, and that will help us
feel better." Then choose your most verbal child, and say,
"Janie, would you tell what happened to you and your family?"
After Janie finishes, you should point out "your grownups took
good care of you when you ........." (telling back some salient
points of her story. And ask for another story. Again, after that
story is done, underline the work of the adults, which included
going to safety and taking good care of the children.
Try to get each child to tell his or her story, and listen to
the tapes again that evening. You want to listen for what was particularly
scary for each one, and to make note of that, so your storytelling
and creative suggestions will help the children to face and overcome
their fears (after all, they have survived and returned to some
sort of normalcy!)
The day of your discussion and every day, remind children that they
can paint the hurricane, that they can build the hurricane in blocks,
that they can draw the hurricane. Read Toni Gross' and my article,
Painting a Tragedy for more about the role of the arts in helping
young children process a major painful event.
Be sure the children hear you say, often, that you and the other
grownups at school/childcare/playgroup/ can take good care of them
if any problem comes. And that their parents did, and they will,
and the children only have to help by listening to their grownups
... getting to safety is an adult task.
Your attitude of serious respect for their fears and painful memories
will matter a lot. And it will help.
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